Fireworks began at a young age for me and never stopped. I grew up feeling like a mouse with her tail in the trap, yet I still tried like hell to et free. Why I felt so trapped I don't know, but I do know deep in my heart I will go far, far away from "Small town" USA once I get old enough to get out. My soul did not fit in and I am crazy now wondering why.
I know I am different, a bit strange maybe, definately extraordinary. I cannot understand my thoughts or my feelings, yet they a profoundly deep. I know I am going places beyond where I am. I cannot stand where I am or who I am.
I am astounded when I allow myself to remember some of the things I experiences in the twenty something years I have been on this earth. I am a young woman filled with rage and pain, as are most young people like me. I walk around carrying so much stuff in my memory I cannot breaths most days.
Today is like any other April day, but my head is more confused than usual, and I feel as if I may explode if I do not quiet the thoughts going around inside. I have decided though today I will do something with all the rage and pain, and confusion inside of me.
My name is Mia, and I just turned twenty-two this past March. I am on my way to Newark Airport to catch a plane and get away from everything especially to get away from my thinking.
Rushing as I drive, I break speed limits on every stretch of the highwat, but I didn't care about anything, except running away today. I always drive insanely, but today my stomach is in tight knots as I try to weave between cars that move too slow. I nearly hit one today. I cannot control my mind racing as if I was a wild horse running for safety after a gun shot. I pushed my little red Toyota to the limit as if driving faster could make the painful memories and humiliation go away.